It's Not the Children - It's Me

I had "one of those days" yesterday. My daughter was more defiant than usual, and I got frustrated. I find myself saying "I was so frustrated" way too often. Most of the time, it's because the kids simply won't obey! I mean, how hard is it to just do what I say? Everything wold be so much easier, but they just won't do it!

Over the past few weeks, God has been giving me gentle reminders that my frustration problem is about me, not about the kids. Just this morning, someone reminded me that our homes should be a place where our kids are free to sin, be lovingly disciplined, and see Christ in the process. My husband read something the other day that said discipline is only effective if the parents are more disciplined than the children. I've also been studying about my own wicked heart that cries, "I WANT, I WANT, I WANT" all day long and gets frustrated when I don't get what I want. The normal day-to-day challenges of parenthood are only exposing what's in my heart - the sinful desire to have perfect order, obedient children, and peace and quiet so my life will be a little "easier." But I'm confident that even if I had everything I "wanted" - order, obedience, peace - I would never be satisfied. I would find more to want. After all, a theologian once said that our hearts are idol factories. We always create something to worship that will never satisfy our souls.

Christ is our only satisfaction. Until we are fully satisfied in Christ, we will never be satisfied with our lives. Until I am perfectly content in Christ, I will always be frustrated with my children. I don't really want obedience and order; I want Jesus, and I need to make sure they want Him, too.

Lord, forgive me for seeking anything but Christ. Help me to set my heart on Jesus so my children can see that He alone satisfies.

I Love My Husband

Last night, after the kids were in bed, my husband and I were fixing our daily bowls of ice cream and settling in for a little TV. We don't watch much TV (we don't have cable), but we do really enjoy watching a few shows together. We've done that since we were first married. We clean up the kitchen, get the house in order (somewhat), and just relax together. I've never once thought of using that time for laundry, house cleaning, paying bills, or any of the other things that probably need to be done. I just know that every night, we will have our time to relax together.

Last night, I realized that it's easy to put aside all of the chores to spend time with my husband, but it's not so easy to do that with my children. I feel like I NEED to get everything accomplished during the day, and I get frustrated when I don't. But I don't look forward to time with my children like I do the time with my husband. Why is that? Maybe it's because I spend so much time with the kids that I take it for granted. Or by the time I sit down for our ice cream, I'm probably so exhausted that none of my chores will get done anyway! Children are hard work, and maybe after a long day of discipline, diapers, and meals they will not eat, I feel like I've been more of a childcare provider than a mother. Or maybe it's natural to want to spend time with your spouse more than your children. After all, he was there before they were! He really is my best friend, and I love being with him. Regardless, I want to enjoy the time with my children and look forward to it like I look forward to ice cream time. I won't always have this time with them, and I want to take advantage of it.

Lord, thank you that my husband is my closest friend, and please give me a heart that longs for sweet time with my children.

Such delay...

So how long has it been since my last post? Long enough for me to feel guilty for never having anything to say. Maybe I should be silent more often...

We're settled into our new home but not settled into much of a routine yet. Moving, busy church schedule, wild children, house repairs (more than I would like to admit already) - they have all stolen my time to "myself", ergo the lack of blogging. So now it's time to jump back in! Hope I still have a reader or 2 out there! Thanks for being patient with me!

I've discovered a few things since moving. I now know that more room means more places to stash boxes that you forget to unpack. I also know that if you purchase paint for a 3-year-old's room, you should use it quickly or be willing to hear her ask, "can I paint my room today?" every day until you do (I'm still hearing it, so no, we have not painted)! I also know that a busy schedule, unpacked boxes, walls to paint, appliances to replace, and walls to patch (because the girl was pushing the boy's head into it), mean that "counting others" is an even more difficult task. I've learned that if I don't make my children a priority, I can find plenty of other things to do instead of spending time with them. And when I fill my days with "things to do" instead of with my children, they know it. But I've also learned that when I play with them, the "things" get a little easier to do when the time comes.

Lord, help me to get rid of my excuses no matter what's on my plate and to be thankful that I have so many blessings to balance.

Time to Settle

We are in our "new" home. We are still sorting through boxes trying to find our socks, but we're here. Here's the view from our back door...

If anyone knows how to take care of plants, come on over! We have an abundance of beautiful plants that desperately need a green thumb. The good news is that the kids are enjoying life in their new back yard. We are even shopping for a swing set. We are so thankful to be in a home with room for our family, and I will update again soon!

A New Home

I apologize again for taking so long to write. My husband went on a mission trip out of the country, we celebrated an anniversary, and we closed on our new home this week! God has allowed us to buy our first home, and we are so thankful for the opportunity to purchase a home in this difficult economy. I have so many things to thank God for...

Thank you for a husband who loves our family dearly and loves Jesus more.

Thank you for two beautiful, healthy children.

Thank you that my husband has a job that provides for our family.

Thank you for a new home with room for kids to grow and run. Thank you for a yard (that needs lots of work) where our kids can play outside and enjoy the sunshine.

Thank you for times in life where it's easy to see the blessings you pour out on our family.

There is so much excitement surrounding our new home. The kitchen needs work, but it is our kitchen. Everything in the yard is overgrown, and half the plants are dead, but it is our little yard to tend. And yet, I remember a song that our daughter sings from one of her videos:

"In my Father's house are many mansions. I go to prepare a place for you."

Our new house is exciting because it is our first home, but nothing can compare with what God has in store for those that know Him. Sometimes we are so content with the earthly blessings that we forget how glorious and rich are the eternal blessings of God! Our homes and yards and material possessions are opportunities for us to be stewards, but the home that God is preparing for us should fill our hearts with eager anticipation for what is to come!

Lord, please help us to care for the things you have placed in our hands but to set our hearts on things above.

To Train a Child

It is so easy to react to your child's behavior. I often find myself saying the same things all day long: "Stop doing that! Don't do that! Stop hitting your brother! Stay away from there!" It is easy to react to disobedience and to get frustrated if that's all I do all day! It is not so easy to train a child. When we train for an event - a sporting event, a job, etc. - we undergo intense, proactive exercise to learn something new. We train our bodies to do something they have not done before. We train our minds to learn a new concept. And when we "train up a child in the way he should go," we teach them something new. Our children do not know how to obey us, and they definitely do not know what it means to glorify our Father. Our job is to train their minds and hearts to understand a foreign concept, to do something they've never done before. When a runner trains for a marathon, running becomes easier and easier as the training continues. When you are trained for a new job, the task becomes easier as you continue to practice. Let us all remember that we are to discipline and train our children for Godliness.

Lord, help us to persevere through the difficult task of training our children. When they grow old, give them the strength to not grow weary but to run the Christian race more quickly and richly every day.

Sorry for the delay!

I apologize for the lack of posts! We are moving next month, and we covet your prayers during the home-buying process. Thank you for reading and for being patient with me!