Never ask them "Why?"

My daughter is what Dobson would call the Strong-Willed Child. I could have written the book. From birth, she has fought to have her way, and sometimes quite violently! Even as a baby, if she thought things were going one way but the "routine" changed, she screamed until you gave her what whe wanted, what she expected. At 3, she is still that way, and in increasing measure! If she hears that we're going to the Zoo, she will talk about the Zoo NONSTOP until we actually go. And she will remind us over and over that we told her we could go to the Zoo. But she also gets extremely defiant if she thought we were doing something but it never happened. She even negotiates, "well, after we finish this, then we can do it, right?" She has her plans, and she will see them through! Nothing hinders this little girl.

I know that children are depraved and born with a sin nature, but sometimes you still look at them and think, "where in the world did this come from?!" Or worse yet, you ask, "Why are you throwing this fit? Why did you do that?" Until one day when I was doing laundry and trying to pay bills and my children kept "interrupting" me. I could feel the blood start to boil because I wanted to do something specific, and someone else was hindering my plans. I do not handle change well. I want my schedule to rule the day, and my flesh takes over when my schedule is interrupted. My daughter is just like me. Adam passed his sin to all generations, to me, and to my daughter. But God calls us to be patient, long-suffering, kind, joyful, to "count others more significant than ourselves." It is so easy - and so sinful - to let our desires rule in our hearts. I don't think I need to ask why my daughter does anything; I need to wonder how I can point her to Christ.

Lord, take my own sin from my heart so my daughter will have the opportunity to see Christ in me.

Sweetness

As we sat down to eat dinner last night, our daughter told us she wanted to pray. She often prays, but usually she says "Father thank you for this food, and thank you to take a BIG nap. Amen." There's no secret where she heard that prayer... But last night she said, "Father thank you for this food. Thank you for Mommy Daddy this great meal for us. And thank you for Jesus to pray. Amen." I think she was trying to say "thank you for the meal that Mommy made for us" (which Daddy usually says when he prays) and "in Jesus name we pray." My husband and I looked at each other in wonder, trying to figure out where the "nap" prayer went! But oh, how I loved her little prayer.

Thank you Lord for a child who prays even when the words aren't perfect. Give us a heart to pray no matter what, for our words are usually imperfect.

My Oxen

Where has the order gone? I love my things to be in order, and I love a clean home. Yet since having children, I feel like my home is in complete chaos! I am constantly burdened by the dirt, the toys, and the "stuff" that seems to pile up in the places I most want clean! I tidy up the kids' rooms several times a day, and they never stay that way for long. I fix lunch and stare at the stove that desperately needs a scrub-down. I find a moment to wash my hands, and the spots on the bathroom mirror call my name, followed by my children running into the bathroom to pull on my leg for something that needs more immediate attention than dirty mirrors. And then I am gently reminded of this Proverb:

Where there are no oxen, the manger is clean,

But abundant crops come by the strength of the ox.

-Proverbs 14:4

If I want to spend precious time with my precious children, my manger will never be clean. And if my husband and I want to reap the harvest of a righteous heritage, we must feed the oxen.

Thank you Lord for giving me oxen, and teach me to be a good steward of my manger.

Everything is Sacred

My husband and I are fans of Caedmon's Call, and they came out with a song that convicts me every time I hear it. If you have never heard the song, I urge you to get this CD, Overdressed (or at least listen to the song for free). And just in case you can't do either, I've included the lyrics below. I hope it ministers to you as much as it has to me.

Sacred
by Caedmon's Call

This house is a good mess
it's the proof of life
No way would I trade jobs
but it don't pay overtime

I'll get to the laundry
I don't know when
I'm saying a prayer tonight
cause tomorrow it starts again

Could it be that everything is sacred
And all this time
Everything I've dreamed of
has been right before my eyes

The children are sleeping
but they're running through my mind
The sun makes them happy
and the music makes them unwind

My cup runneth over,
I worry about the stain
Teach me to run to you
like they run to me for every little thing

Cause everything is sacred
And all this time
Everything I've dreamed of
has been right before my eyes

When I forget to drink from you
I can feel the banks harden
Lord make me like a stream to feed the garden

Wake up little sleeper
The Lord God Almighty
Made your mama keeper
So rise and shine, rise and shine, rise and shine

Cause everything is sacred
And all this time
Everything I've dreamed of
has been right before my eyes

ME time

This culture makes me weary. So often we hear, "You need to get away. You need to take time for yourself." What does that really mean anyway? Will a pedicure really solve the frustrations of motherhood? This world is telling me daily that I need to do what's best for me. If it works for me, it must be right. And this world is especially telling mothers that we NEED time away from our children. We need to send them to school, take them to Grandma's house, or send them to daycare so we can go do something more fulfilling or more restful than constantly being "needed" by our children. We need to follow our hearts and do what is most fulfilling in our own minds.

But God...

There is a way that seems right to man,

but its end is the way to death.

-Proverbs 14:12

God hasn't taught us to follow our hearts. Our hearts will only lead us to destruction. He has called us to worship Him by presenting our bodies as a living sacrifice. A sacrifice requires loss or death. We must continually die to ourselves in order to Glorify God. How much joy will we find if we die to our own desires every time our children need us?

Let us not listen to the culture that presses us to desert our families for me time, but let us run the race with perseverance, knowing that God will sustain us with the strength to walk and not grow weary.

Father, help me to seek more of Christ and less of me.

To do or not to do

I am a task-driven person by nature. I thrive on knowing what needs to be accomplished and getting it all done. It figures that God would use the enormous challenge of motherhood to strip that control away from me! My husband often comes home to find me in one of two moods: if I accomplish much (clean, fold laundry, pay bills), I am in a great mood, but if I accomplish "only" taking care of the children, I am frustrated. As if my time was so valuable that the "important" tasks of managing the home were a priority and the menial tasks of motherhood, the diapers and snotty noses, were an annoyance and simply a hindrance to my "real" job.

It's so easy for me to fall into this trap when laundry and cleaning can be measured. I can visually see the result of my work when I tidy up the home. But who can measure the time spent with my children? Will they remember that Mommy treated them as valuables or that I was frustrated when they kept me from something else? Will they know that I was there for EVERYTHING they needed or just there for damage control?

Lord, help my heart to be joyful in the days where my only task is to nurture my children.

Why the new blog?

I decided to start a new blog. Since I can't even seem to keep my first blog updated successfully, I began to wonder why I was doing this... I created my first blog to keep friends and family updated with general information about our family. But I wasn't giving myself much room for a journalistic outlet, so that is my goal with this blog. Since the largest block of my time is spent being a wife and mother, I have titled my blog "Counting Others," based upon Philippians 2:3. I would love to say that I don't struggle with this verse or that it's easy for me to count my family more significant than myself. That's just not the case. This blog is in part a reflection of what the Bible teaches about being a wife and mother but also a challenge (mostly for myself but hopefully to other women as well) to actually live that way. So even as I sit pretending to be more holy by blogging about Godly motherhood, my children are whining, reminding me to leave the computer and go Count the Others that God has given me...